people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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