Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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