Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
being pregnant is like rehab
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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