I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
