my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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