Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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