Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
