I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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