i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
