I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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