Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
