when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
