So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
