i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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