Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
