last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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