Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
