Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
