There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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