he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was so not down for the gang bang
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
