Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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