HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
