Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
