Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
