Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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