I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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