What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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