I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
