you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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