How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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