ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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