He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
