Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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