forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
