Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
