One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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