Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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