no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
