dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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