I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
third nipple confirmed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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