it wasn't lemon gatorade
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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