Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
