remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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