I wanna bring you to show and tell
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
