Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
