u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
