he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
