just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
