But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you win again, gameday.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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