I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
