Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
