my mouth tastes like poor choices
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
