you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do herpes really smell.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
