hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
